Understanding and Supporting Postpartum Mental Health for Moms: A Brief Guide for New Dads
- matthewbramanlcsw
- Apr 3
- 5 min read
Here’s a supportive and informative blog post for new moms and dads that helps partners understand and respond to postpartum mental health challenges, including birth trauma, postpartum depression and anxiety, "mommy rage," identity shifts, and more.
Bringing home a new baby is life-changing - and not just in the sleepless nights, diaper changes, and endless feedings. It’s an emotional, physical, and psychological shift that affects both parents in deep and often unexpected ways.
As a new mom, you may be feeling the weight of these changes - and if you’re reading this, chances are you want your partner to better understand what you're going through. Or maybe you’re a new dad trying to make sense of how to support your partner during this intense and vulnerable time.
At Verve Psychotherapy, we work with new dads and postpartum couples to navigate the postpartum transition with more understanding, communication, and support. Here’s some of what new dads need to know about postpartum mental health including common struggles - and how they can show up for their partners in assertive, meaningful, and secure ways.
Postpartum Mental Health Is Real and Symptoms are Really Common
Many people expect the postpartum period to be purely joyful - but in reality, it’s often a mix of love, exhaustion, stress, and emotional upheaval. Typically, 1 in 5 women (and 1 in 10 men) experience depression or anxiety during the perinatal / postpartum period.
Moms frequently experience:
Matrescence / Identity Shifts: the physical, emotional, and psychological transition into motherhood; feeling lost, disconnected, or trapped with grief from who they used to be or what their life was like before becoming a mother; friendships may change; body image, romance, and intimacy may change; and dealing with the strong omnipresence of pressure and expectations that surround and impact mothers, 24/7
Postpartum Depression (PPD): sadness, hopelessness, loss of interest or connection
Postpartum Anxiety (PPA): racing thoughts, constant worry, panic
Birth Trauma: emotional distress after complicated and/or traumatic birth experiences
“Mommy Rage”: intense irritability or anger that feels hard to control
Body Image struggles and Low Libido after pregnancy and birth
Pressure to “do it all” while balancing caregiving demands, insufficient maternity leave and a career, a marriage, a family, a social life, and their own self-care and individual needs
These experiences are common - and treatable. But when left unsupported or misunderstood, they can take a significant toll on moms’ well-being and the entire family dynamic.
Why Do These Symptoms Happen?
Postpartum mental health experiences and symptoms are not a sign of weakness. They are normal responses to massive life changes, fueled by hormonal shifts, sleep deprivation, emotional stress, and relational stress.
Some common triggers include:
A traumatic or unexpected birth experience
Feeling isolated, overstimulated, and unsupported
The emotional labor of parenting and household management
Societal pressure to “bounce back” or to be a “perfect mom”
Loss of autonomy or personal freedom
Physical changes to the body and libido
The shift in relationship dynamics and intimacy after baby
When these challenges aren’t acknowledged or supported, many moms feel alone, misunderstood, or emotionally overwhelmed - and this can strain the entire family.
How Dads Can Support Their Partners in the Postpartum Period
Many dads want to help, and they may feel unsure of what to do. Here’s where you can start:
1. Check-In, Listen, and Validate
Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is, “I hear you, and I believe you.” Avoid trying to fix everything or offer solutions. Instead, offer empathy and validation.
Say things like:
“Hey, What do you need? … That sounds really hard. I’m here for you.”
“You’re not alone in this. We’re a team.”
“You’re doing an amazing job, even when it doesn’t feel that way.”
2. Learn About Postpartum Mental Health Together
Understanding what your partner is going through can bridge emotional distance. Read about postpartum depression, anxiety, and birth trauma, or consider joining her in therapy sessions to learn how you can be part of her support system.
3. Share the Load - Don't Be a Bystander
Modern Parenting is a team effort. Offering to take the lead on baby caregiving and household tasks, or encouraging her to prioritize her own sleep (a target of at least 5 hours per every 24 hours), to rest, and to take breaks shows her she’s not in this alone.
Be proactive - don’t wait to be asked
Offer regular check-ins: “What do you need right now?”
Help strategize and make a realistic plan for each day and night
Consider taking shifts that help mothers rest, relax, reset, and recover their energy
4. Be Patient with Intimacy and Body Image
Many moms experience significant body changes, physical pain, or low libido postpartum. Approach intimacy with compassion, patience, respect, and assertive communication.
Let her know that you love her, support her, and value her beyond physical connection - that you’re open to her needs, accepting of her boundaries, and understanding of medical recommendations - especially in the 4th-trimester, but really, always and forever.
5. Encourage Support and Normalize Therapy
If your partner is struggling, encourage her to seek affirming communities, supports, and social networks - and consider therapy for yourself, especially to process your own feelings, better understand her experience, and strengthen your partnership.
When the Whole Family Wins: Supporting Each Other in Parenthood
Parenthood can either pull couples apart or bring them closer - and emotional support is a key factor in how that plays out.
When moms feel seen, supported, and validated, they can begin to heal, adjust, and thrive. And when dads feel confident in how to support their partners, they also feel more connected, empowered, and engaged.
At Verve Psychotherapy, we specialize in working with new dads and couples to navigate postpartum challenges with greater understanding and emotional connection. We offer expert perinatal mental health treatment and postpartum support with online therapy in Connecticut, Georgia, Maryland, New Jersey, and New York, making it easier for new dads and their partners to access the critical support they need from home, a private office, or a parked car.
Final Thoughts: You’re Both in This Together
To all the new dads out there - your partner’s mental health is not your fault, but your support can make a huge difference. You don’t have to be perfect. Just be present, be willing to learn, be willing to change, and be willing to grow together.
To all the new moms reading this - you deserve support, and it’s okay to ask for it. Whether through therapy, open conversations, or shared responsibilities, you don’t have to carry this alone.
Ready to Explore Support as a Couple?
At Verve Psychotherapy, we’re here to help new parents feel heard, supported, and empowered. Whether you're looking for individual therapy for new dads or postpartum couples therapy for guidance in navigating the parenting transition, we’re here for you.
Contact Verve Psychotherapy today to learn more about how we can support your family during this transformative time.
You’re not alone - and together, you can do hard things.
As your Right Hand Therapy Man, it's my mission to empower your verve.
Let's talk. Book a free 15 minute phone consultation here.
Ready to get started? Book an intake appointment here.
